January 22, 2012
A Happy Birthday Thank You
As I sit here on the eve of the boy’s 3rd birthday, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I’ve been thinking of this all day, and as I do, I picture myself at an awards show making my acceptance speech. So picture me in a beautiful gown with great hair and make-up:
First and foremost, I am forever grateful to God: who loved and trusted us enough to put Matthew in our lives. And now that he is here, I am grateful to God for every day He gives us together as family. For the strength he gives us to get through the hard times and for the amazingly happy good times. We chose the name “Matthew” because it means, “gift of God.” It couldn’t be more fitting.
I am grateful to the doctors and nurses and hospital staff who brought Matthew safely into the world in the middle of the night since he couldn’t wait until my scheduled c-section and sent me into unexpected and fast-moving labor instead. I am grateful for sound of his first cry – which is what we had been praying for since the biggest concern for his survival was his lung development. (That would be the last sound I would hear from him for about 2 months.) I am grateful to the NICU resuscitation team who did exactly what their name implies – resuscitate him after that cry made both of his lungs rupture. I am eternally grateful to the doctors and nurses of the NICU who literally saved his life. I’m grateful because they never even for a moment gave up on him. Even when he had to be on an oscillating ventilator for his first three days of life, even when he was still on a ventilator for more than two months, even when he failed extubation three times. They never told me he would die, just that he wasn’t ready to breathe on his own yet. They didn’t just care for him, they cared about him – and that made all the difference.
I am grateful to his Nephrologist (kidney doctor) who gently guided us through his diagnosis of renal failure; through our journey to accept the fact that he needed dialysis and would need a kidney transplant; and through every step since then until this very day. Words cannot begin to express my gratitude for his amazing surgeon. This kind and gentle man has held my son’s life in his hands 12 times now. Every time Matthew has come out healthier as a result. I cannot imagine Matthew having surgery without this man’s hand on the scalpel…and he makes beautiful scars, as straight as an arrow! And I am so grateful to the amazing nurses who have come into our life at the hospital and at home.
I am grateful to our family and friends, who have been so incredibly supportive to us through this whole journey. Who have stepped up to help take care of Lala for us and who have come to take care of us for us sometimes! It’s hard to understand our hypersensitivity to germs, illness, and potential allergens, but they really try.
I am grateful to the amazing network of parents that I have met who also have children with renal disease. A stronger, more determined, more loving, more supportive group of people you will not find. I can’t describe the comfort and relief it is to know other people who are dealing with what we are dealing with.
I am grateful to my amazing daughter, who instead of being jealous of the attention her brother gets loves him with her whole heart. She has more empathy than most adults and I couldn’t be more proud to be her mother.
I couldn’t express my gratitude without including Tom. For being my partner, for doing more than his share at the times when all that I had wasn’t enough, for working so hard and for loving his family so much. But of course, most of all, for giving Matthew the gift of life. For saving his life, for being his hero and in turn being mine.
And as the orchestra starts to play me off the stage, I want to conclude by thanking each and every one of you. Thank you for thinking enough of Matthew to read this blog, for caring for him, loving him, and most of all for praying for him.
Happy Birthday to my incredible, miracle boy. Wishing you many, many, many more. I love you so much.
Janice B. said,
January 22, 2012 at 2:07 am
He’s my proof everyday that miracles do happen and God has His hand on everything. We are all so blessed to have him in our lives.